Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
