it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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