I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
