I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
