Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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