We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
