Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize