She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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