i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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