I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
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I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
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The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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