would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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