my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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