her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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