Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
