You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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