Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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