don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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