hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i was born a porn star she said
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
