Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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