i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
