the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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