if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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