do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
