Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
