Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
