Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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