I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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