i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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