I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
