I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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