Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
