You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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