Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
