i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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