I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
