apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
