Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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