I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
