i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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