O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
