i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
