How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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