Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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