He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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