Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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