I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
