I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
