Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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