Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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