Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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