I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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