Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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