That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
