They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize