My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
