Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
