so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Randomize