I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
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My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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