I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
