Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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