Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
