my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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