Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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