I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
