I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
