is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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